One Last Inkslop Meta-Post

:(

No better way to finish this month off than with another Inkhaven Slop meta-post.

Nothing else felt right. And let’s be honest, I want to participate in the socializing going on this evening.

For those of you who don’t know, I just completed a 30 day writing residency in which I had to publish more than 500 words every. single. day.

I am happy with some of them. But naturally, others were complete garbage.

I came in with a massive list of ideas, and had to scratch most of them as they would’ve likely taken more than a few hours to write. I have around twenty half-written drafts that I gave up on in favor of easier posts.

While my main hope for this did not come to fruition (i.e., becoming rich and famous and never having to take grueling email-heavy jobs again, all through pursuing my main passion of having ideas and posting them on the internet), I feel quite satisfied with my experience.

I’d been attempting to write and publish semi-regularly for about ten years prior to doing Inkhaven. And, I do think my primary bottleneck was something like embarrassment. Especially through grad school, I’d often find myself having a novel and cool thought, writing it in my notes app to get back to later on, and then deciding that it wasn’t good for some reason or another.

I’ve struggled with something like this my entire life. I always turn off whatever music is playing when people enter my car. I used to really hesitate to give recommendations of any kind. So the idea of having an opinion, writing it, and then publishing it felt horrifying.

Interestingly I don’t have anything like this about tweets. I don’t know why. I feel completely comfortable releasing any stupid thoughts on twitter, even after a couple experiences of these posts receiving millions of views and hundreds of hate comments. I came to feel the same way about writing essays.

I have absolutely no shame regarding releasing my writing on the internet anymore. Zero. Perhaps negative amounts. I think that alone has made this whole experience well worth it.

I don’t know which direction to take this in. But I will absolutely continue to write regularly.

I was thinking of writing a public diary. I wrote about three journal entries, and they were all incredibly easy to complete and (in my opinion) entertaining. I think it’s an easy way to get my thoughts across quickly without having to really develop them so that they meet the standards for an essay. I also really enjoy some part of the exhibitionism of it all.

I also noticed that most of the essays that received attention were on the topics of sex and dating. To be honest, I am kind of confused by this. Not super confused, but kind of. I feel like there is already so much out there. Why do people want to hear what I specifically have to say about things? Is it just because I’m a woman?? I’m not sure. Regardless, I did almost get a PhD in human mating, and think about these things often, so perhaps I will just lean into it more given that there is clearly demand.

Although, I do feel a bit sad about the background suspicion that I could release complete utter garbage and it would still get attention if it were about sex. But oh well, I like writing about it.

I never really posted any of my controversial science takes. Given the nature of my deadlines, and the fact that I was starting writing kind of late, I think I endorse this. I have a bunch of drafts that I plan on slowly releasing, but I do think that I should do my due diligence prior to releasing my takes on sensitive scientific findings.

I will be applying to plzdontkillus, in hopes to further postpone reckoning with my career. I hope that some option of work that I don’t hate comes up soon!

Thank you to everyone who regularly read my posts.

Farewell Inkhaveners.